


It Didn't Matter

by leviathans_watching



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cute, Dancing, Depressed Lance (Voltron), Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Showers, idk - Freeform, mcr music, what to put for tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-05-15 12:38:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19295917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviathans_watching/pseuds/leviathans_watching
Summary: So he sat, eventually drawing his knees to his chest and tilting his head back, lips parted. The water tasted different from earth’s water, slightly stale, he knew it was because they couldn’t get new water, so it was recycled and cleaned, again and again.But he let it fall into his mouth, his eyes, his nose.It didn’t matter.(I added a second chapter due to a request, and that one is allllll fluff)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in a little while, and it feels pretty good. The story is more of a vent fic than anything, and has like no backstory. This is it, and it doesn't make much sense, but it's good to be trying, right?
> 
> Tumblr: https://leviathans-watching.tumblr.com

Lance woke up, his throat raw from screaming. He brought a hand to his face, dabbing subconsciously at the tears trailing down his face. The same nightmare, again and again. He took a shuddering breath.  It was over. It was done. It didn’t matter.

 

Lance sat up, bracing himself on his elbows. The sheets were damp with cold sweat, and Lance’s shirt was plastered to his body. 

 

It didn’t matter.

 

Lance stared at the wall for a moment before rousing himself. He gathered his clothes, not bothering to check the time, and stepped into the hallway. He guessed it was roughly what they assumed to be two or three in the morning. It was hard to know what time it actually was in space, due to the never ending darkness, but the paladins did their best.

 

Lance ghosted his way to the showers quietly. He kept one hand to the wall, the cool metal a grounding force, something to convince him that it was okay, it was over.

 

He heard noises coming from the training decks, probably Keith, just as restless as Lance was during the night, although he didn’t know that. 

 

Lance hurried away, hoping that Keith wouldn’t need a shower after he was done. Sometimes he did, sometimes he was sated and went back to bed. It all depended on the night and Keith’s feelings. The sounds faded as Lance walked on, and the darkness seemed to hold physical weight, weight pressing on him.

 

It was done. It didn’t matter.

 

Lance got to his stall and turned the shower on, leaving the lights off. He turned the handle all the way, so that the water was a hair away from dangerously hot, and let the steam fill up the room.

 

After training the showers would be filled with laughter, echoey conversations splashing off the walls. The yellow light seemed like a safe haven. Lance would usually be pumped, sharing his conditioner with Pidge and letting Hunk sample his body washes. He wasn’t selfish.

 

After battles the room was silent, them using the water to drown their thoughts. As they’d take stock of their injuries, they’d revel in the actuality that they were alive, they had survived. Lance would wash more than once, lingering.

 

But now, now the room was still dark, the steam billowing out, making each breath seem just a bit harder to draw, making the room seem smaller than it was. Lance didn’t hum now, didn’t do anything besides sit directly underneath the spray, the hot water spilling off his head, mingling with his tears. 

 

Lance hadn’t even bothered to undress, his clothes plastered against him in a strange way. He’d have to throw his shirt and sweatpants into the dryer before he went to breakfast.

 

It didn’t matter.

 

Lance’s legs began to cramp under him, so he shifted over, pulling his legs out and stretching them in front of him. His shoulders were hunched, and his hair hung over his eyes, just long enough to tangle with his eye lashes when he blinked. 

 

Lance felt the water drop a few degrees, so it was warm, but not burning him. 

 

So he sat, eventually drawing his knees to his chest and tilting his head back, lips parted. The water tasted different from earth’s water, slightly stale, he knew it was because they couldn’t get new water, so it was recycled and cleaned, again and again. 

 

But he let it fall into his mouth, his eyes, his nose.

 

It didn’t matter.

 

* * *

Keith brushed away his hair from his eyes, panting hard. He couldn’t sleep, the thoughts in his head too loud. “End training sequence!” He called breathlessly, resting his bayard on the table. He took off his armor, leaving it in a pile by his bayard. 

 

Only in his undersuit, he made his way into the hallway towards the showers. He paused as he turned on the lights, the sound of water running mystifying him. Was someone in here in the dark?

 

“Hello?” He called, listening for a moment. He received no answer. Making his way a little more into the shower room, he called out again. No reply.

 

Worried someone was drowned, Keith found the stall being used, one in the back corner. Water rained hard inside of it, but it was completely silent in there.    
  


“Hey, whoever’s in there, are you alright?” Keith asked, and waited. No sound.

 

Pushing aside the curtain, it took a second for his eyes to travel down to where Lance was sitting on the floor, knees to his chest. Lance wasn’t looking at him, instead staring up into the water with a blank expression. Water pooled into his mouth and eyes, but Lance didn’t seem to notice.

 

Stepping into the shower Keith noticed Lance was completely clothed. Even more worried, Keith jumped, not expecting the water to be  _ freezing _ . 

 

“Hey, bud, how long you have been in here?” Keith crouched down by Lance and gently pulled Lance’s face towards him. Lance’s chin was soft, his skin smooth. Lance’s eyes focused on Keith, and he gave a small shrug. Keith reached over Lance to turn off the water, then brushed his hair out of his eyes, trying to decide what to do.

 

“Lance?” Lance looked up slowly. “Can you stand?” Lance stood slowly, reluctantly, like he had no energy to. Now that the water was off, Keith could distinguish between the falling shower and Lance’s tears.

 

Keith stood with Lance, and then pulled him out of the shower. Noticing another pair of Lance’s clothes, he handed him a towel and then his clothes. Lance did it all in silence. Drying off, dressing facing the wall, standing done in front of Keith while Keith finished drying off, and it made Keith worried.

Lance wasn’t quiet. Not like this.

 

Keith took Lance back to his room, figuring lance didn’t want to be alone. Keith dressed, then turned to Keith.

 

“Do you want to stay here?’ He asked. “I don’t mind. I can wake Shiro, if you’d like, or someone else. Hunk, maybe?” He pressed, and Lance sat on the bed, drawing back the covers to Keith’s badly made bed. He glanced up at Keith with a set to his lip. 

 

“It doesn’t matter.”


	2. Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter written for KatrinaRiley, as well as anyone else who wanted it!!
> 
> Fluff

“Alright, that’s fine,” Keith flopped on the bed next to Lance. He wasn’t the best with dealing with emotions, they weren’t really his thing, but for Lance he’d try. 

 

Keith just really wanted Lance to feel comfortable, so he grabbed his space Ipod thing Pidge had rigged up and pulled up his favorites playlist. Some of the songs were pretty hardcore, but others were soft and lucid, and having no idea what kind of music Lance listened to, Keith figured this was his best bet.

 

Keith then gently pulled Lance’s shoulder down so that they were laying together, in silence, letting the music drift around them.

 

After a few moments, Lance seemed to relax, letting his body be held by the bed instead of trying to hold it up himself. Keith was staring at the ceiling, singing the lyrics softly, but he shifted on the bed so that he was looking at Lance.  

 

American Idiot came on, and Keith tried singing the lyrics in a british accent, making Lance not quite laugh, but huff a bit. Keith considered it a win.

 

Lance still hadn’t said anything, but at least his tears had dried. He rolled over towards Keith, so close that their noses were almost touching, and wait- Did Keith’s breath smell bad?

 

No, that wasn’t what was important right now, Keith reminded himself. Lance stared at Keith, blue eyes mesmerising in the soft light.

 

It took Keith a second to realize that Lance was softly singing, almost mouthing the words to Drown by Bring Me The Horizon. 

 

“You know BMTH?” Keith asked, shaking his head a bit to make the hair that had fallen in his eyes move, but only accomplished bumping his cheek to Lance’s. He flushed but Lance seemed unfazed.

 

“A bit. My sister Sophia went through the emo phase, and what can I say? I got hooked on some of the music. 

 

Keith’s hair still tickled his eyes.

 

They fell into a more comfortable silence than the previous one was. Again, keith had no freaking idea what he was doing, but it seemed that Lance calmed down the same way he did, by just being able to breathe with another person. 

 

Somehow, just being quiet with someone was helpful to Keith, and surprisingly, Lance seemed to be the same way. Keth wondered if Lance wanted to talk and do all that mushy stuff, and for once it didn’t sound terrible to him.

 

They laid contently for a little while longer, before Lance hesitantly raised his hand to brush Keith’s hair out of his eyes. The feeling of warm fingertips running across his face was almost hypnotic to Keith and he leaned into the touch, heart stuttering.

 

Lance cracked a smile and sat up, motioning for Keith to sit in between his legs. Keith couldn’t breathe, but he did so. 

 

Lance turned the music down a little before starting to comb through Keith’s hair with his fingers

 

“I’m guessing you have some questions. Mainly, why was I in the shower fully clothed?” Keith started to turn his head but Lance smacked his shoulder lightly.

 

“You don’t have to share more than you feel comfortable with,” Keith kinda, really hoped he would share though.

 

“I’m comfortable with you,” Did Keith just die? “And I know it's not really good to bottle things up, so that’s that.” 

 

Keith was glad he was facing away from Lance because he couldn’t stop his expression from changing when Lance spoke.

 

* * *

 

Lance didn’t know how to feel. It had been a weird night all together. Was he even awake? It was seriously a dream to be braiding Keith’s hair, to be talking to Keith, and just to be with Keith in Keith in general. 

 

He didn’t lie when he said he was comfortable with Keith, he so was, and he was happy that Keith wasn’t aware of the raging blush that had taken over his features.            

 

But he did want to tell Keith about the dream. He wanted to tell Keith everything. 

 

So he did. 

 

“It started with nightmares.” Lance thought about how cute Keith’s neck was, how delicate. “And it was the same one every night. The thing is, I can never remember them.” Lance wondered what Keith’s hand felt like. His face was soft. “And they really bother me. I don’t know why though.”

 

“It’s okay. I have nightmares too.” Keith confessed, and Lance made sure to tuck all the loose strands of hair to complete the braid. 

 

“I get so hopeless sometimes.” Lance tied off the braid with a small flourish, and Keith stood, looking in the mirror. 

 

“I think we all do. You just have to make sure you have hope sometimes. Space can be so oppressive sometimes.”

 

Lance joined Keith in the mirror and marveled at the striking picture they painted. Keith with his strong figure and reed cheeks plus Lance with his eye bags and dark skin. They looked good.

 

Keith turned to Lance, hand running over his hair. “This looks good. Thank you.” 

 

“You’re welcome,” Lance replied, suddenly shy. 

 

Lance vaguely recognised the song in the background as a My Chemical Romance song. “What song is this?” 

 

“Famous Last Words.” 

 

Lance held out his hands. “Dance with me mullet!”

 

Keith adopted a dry face. “MCR isn’t really dancing music.”

 

“I don’t care! C’mon!” 

 

And that’s how Lance ended up slow dancing with the love of his life at 4 am, to a song that was not meant to be slow danced to but worked perfectly well for them

 

Lance decided that the dreams, well, they didn’t matter.


End file.
